Brainless: Chapter One

The road was a bit bumpy, but he didn’t mind all that much. In fact, it helped lull him to sleep. The drive had been long, and he wasn’t very patient. The daytime hours were dull enough when he was free to do whatever he wanted too. For a moment he wondered just how long he would last at this new school. He pushed the thought aside and drifted back to sleep.

The next thing the prince was aware of was the sound of an angry girl yelling at him.

“Do you realize who this is?” he heard Avaric say. The prince peaked an eye open. Standing in front of him was a tall, lanky girl whose skin was as green as grass. Her face was green, her hands were green, and he could only assume that the rest of her was green as well. Was everyone at Shiz this color?

“I don’t care who he is,” the green girl answered. Then, turning to himself, she said, “Your car nearly knocked me over and you’re sleeping?”

“Well of course, it's daytime,” he stepped out of the car. “See you soon Avaric, I probably won't last longer at this school than any of the others.” A moment later, the driver and the car were gone.

“Is this really how you go through life, nearly knocking people over and not even noticing them?”

Without missing a beat, the prince answered, “Maybe the driver saw green and thought it meant go.”

She didn’t seem to like that. The girl stormed off and Prince Fiyero Tiggular shrugged.

The first thing Fiyero noticed when he began looking around was the amount of very normal-looking students wandering the square. The second thing he noticed was a short blonde girl flipping her hair standing next to an equally short boy. Laughing internally at her antics, he walked up to her and began to mimic her ridiculous actions. The short boy looked disgusted, the short girl looked pleased.

“Were you looking for something?” she asked. “Or someone?”

“Uhhh yea... history... class?” he had read something about it on the syllabus about an hour before he fell asleep on the ride to Shiz. “I don't know... somewhere?”

The short boy walked up to him and answered, “History building is way over there, my friend.” The boy looked a little over eager to rid the new boy from their conversation, but Fiyero brushed it off. He was used to jealousy, the guys from his previous schools seemed to have the same problem.

“That class just ended!” the perky blonde girl answered, looking at him slyly. He was used to that too. That look, after all, was the reason why all those guys were jealous. But she was pretty, he wouldn’t mind spending time around her.

“Oh! Perfect timing! So, uh, what does one do for fun around here?”

“Nothing really,” she answered before adding, “until now.”

“We’ve been studying!” Studying? Fiyero was in disbelief that the short kid knew so little. The little guy was trying to win this girl’s heart by saying that by being… smart. How ridiculous.

“Well, I see that once again the responsibility to corrupt my fellow students falls to me.” The two looked at Fiyero expectantly. “Fortunately, I'm up for the task.”

He reached down and took the book from the short boy’s hands, throwing it off to the side. The boy looked disgusted. “Look,” he began. “The trouble with school is, they always try to teach the wrong lesson. Believe me, I’ve been kicked out of enough of them to know. They want you to come less callow – less shallow. But why stress about it? You should learn to live the unexamined life. Believe me, life is much easier when you’re brainless.” The girl, at least, seemed happy enough with his speech. She bounced her little blonde curls up and down. She might do.

“So,” he asked her, “What’s the most swankified place in town?”

“That would be the Ozdust Ballroom,” she answered cheerfully.

“Sounds perfect. We should all meet there tonight.”

The short boy looked positively outraged. “Miss Galinda?” he motioned the blonde girl aside. Fiyero listened in to their conversation. “I hope you'll save at least one dance for me. I'll be waiting right there, right by your side, waiting, all night.”

“Oh, how very kind… Biq.”

“It’s Boq,” he grumbled under his breath.

“But, do you know what would be even kinder? Look over there, at that tragically beautiful girl, the girl in the chair.” Fiyero turned his head to see a pretty brunette girl wearing too-dark lipstick. She was sitting in a wheel chair and looked somewhat familiar.


“It’s seems unfair that we should go, but not her. I know someone would be my hero if they would go and invite her to the party.”

“Well… maybe I could invite her!” he volunteered.

“Oh, Biq! Really? You would do that for me?” she said with false cheerfulness.

“I would do anything for you, Miss Galinda,” he answered before rushing off to ask the girl in the wheelchair out.

After Boq left, Fiyero walked back up to Galinda. “You’re good,” he said, impressed.

“I don't know what you mean. But I do happen to be free tonight, so...”

“So, I'll be picking you up around eight?”

“Sounds perfect.”