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Submitted on
February 27, 2008
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Head heavy with brick
causing my lungs to freeze,
now filled by air thick

as dust, and no longer can breathe
while the question spins
and I lose track of all these

answers. The wall strengthens
itself or else crumble
away and failing anticipations

the route is blocked by rubble
and I am stuck.
The small response’s fumble

is lost within the thawing muck
of liquid thoughts and through this process
my tongue is struck.
One of the few decent poems that came out of my poetry class last fall semester.
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:icondragonfly72:
dragonfly72 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2009
Whoa, I liked this... It's very intense, really felt this way sometime, can't remember when. I just remember the feeling, tongue-tied while words wash over you and you just don't know what to make of them. Total love ^_^
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:iconssejbat:
SSEJBAT Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
there is a feeling this creates which is effective and i liked it however there are several gramatical errors which could be corrected to improve it! weldone!
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:iconthequietwriter:
TheQuietWriter Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Professional Interface Designer
Yeah, I know the grammar isn't perfect. It was all I could do to keep the rhyming scheme going.

Thank you!
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:iconssejbat:
SSEJBAT Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
thats ok!
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:iconfiyerabalove:
FiyerabaLove Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
very nice
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:iconpoe-it:
Poe-It Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
I am definitely a fan of the style and can relate to the words. I like. Nice work!
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:iconthequietwriter:
TheQuietWriter Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008  Professional Interface Designer
Thank you so much! I put a lot of work into this poem.
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