Head heavy with brick
causing my lungs to freeze,
now filled by air thick
as dust, and no longer can breathe
while the question spins
and I lose track of all these
answers. The wall strengthens
itself or else crumble
away and failing anticipations
the route is blocked by rubble
and I am stuck.
The small responses fumble
is lost within the thawing muck
of liquid thoughts and through this process
my tongue is struck.
One of the few decent poems that came out of my poetry class last fall semester.
Whoa, I liked this... It's very intense, really felt this way sometime, can't remember when. I just remember the feeling, tongue-tied while words wash over you and you just don't know what to make of them. Total love ^_^
there is a feeling this creates which is effective and i liked it however there are several gramatical errors which could be corrected to improve it! weldone!
Yeah, I know the grammar isn't perfect. It was all I could do to keep the rhyming scheme going.
I am definitely a fan of the style and can relate to the words. I like. Nice work!